Boomer Grandparents Throw a Tantrum Over Son’s Baby Name Choice, Sparking Major Family Drama: 'She told me we had no business breaking a long-held tradition'

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    AITA for telling my mom to shut up and accept that my wife and I aren't naming our kids the way she and dad named me and my siblings?
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    My wife and I (both late 20s) had our first child together in June. Before he was born there was a lot of talk about names from different family members on both sides, but the pressure to tell was on my side specifically. We didn't tell a soul what the name would be until
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    our son was born and we had left the hospital. My parents were disappointed when we announced our sons name. My family are very traditional in how they named us. We were each named after grandparents and that's how they feel everyone should name their kids.
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    My wife's family don't have a tradition when it comes to naming babies. They just name them and go. No fuss or insisting on certain names. But my wife's side tends to favor more uncommon and unusual names.
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    My wife's and my taste tends to lean a lot more to her side than to mine. Which is how we ended up choosing the name Hollis for our son. This was not something my parents liked because they expected our son to be either Jack (my dad) or Parker (my FIL).
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    But I know they were expecting a little Jack to be born. So that added to their reaction. But they quizzed us on our choice to "break tradition" and I told them it wasn't a tradition my wife's family used and we decided we weren't going to have one either.
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    Over the last couple of months both parents have questioned why, have wanted to discuss other names for future babies. My mom has been the worst by far. She asked why we went with something so unlike the names we have in our family. I told her our family
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    wasn't the only family involved, but that we also didn't take the family tastes. into account. We went with what we liked. She pointed out our taste were a lot like my ILs and I said yes, but that it wasn't about my ILs and their taste, it was about my wife's and my taste. I told
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    her I was done discussing it and since that point I now change the topic or end the conversation when she brings it up or refuses to let it go. We had a little naming ceremony on Saturday and my mom decided she was
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    going to dig in her heels about the name and she told me we'd picked a stupid name and she hated it, she wanted us to change it and name him Jack or Parker. She told me we had no business breaking a long held tradition in our family and there's a reason those traditions are there so foolish people
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    can't name their babies the worst names imaginable. She also said my ILs must be so smug thinking they'll have at least two stupidly named grandkids like they had all stupidly named kids. I lost my temper. I told her to shut up and accept that we're not naming our
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    kids like she and dad named me and my siblings and I told her she would need to leave and learn to be more respectful because I would not take those insults against my wife or her family lying down. My mom hated
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    being told to shut up and she said I had no excuse for rudeness to her face. I thought she was crazy when she was rude. AITA though?
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    frozenbroccolis • 13h ago Partassipant [2] NTA. If your mother wants to have a say in naming a baby, then she should have another baby. She was unnecessarily and disrespectful to you, your wife, your IL's and your child. I'd seriously consider going NC with her if she doesn't change her behaviour as your son will pick up on it as he grows up and it is not acceptable to expose your family to her.
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    Worth-Season3645 Supreme Court Just- • 13h ago [115] NTA....Tradition or not, this is your child. And any future children. No one gets to tell you what you should name your child. You could say, "Well parents, that was your tradition. We decided to start our own tradition as a family". Personally, I love the name Hollis. As for mom, unfortunately, this might be a dealbreaker in going limited contact or no contact. You will have to set the
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    example. Let parents know right off the bat, that calling your child anything else than his name, will not be tolerated. If they are at your place, you get up and show them the door. If you are at theirs, you get up and leave. Same with any outside venue or relatives home. If you are at relatives home who are on mom and dad's side, you can let them know your boundaries as well. Curious, what was the middle name? Because I actually like either father's name as a middle name.
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    • Tricky-Jellyfish-341 13h ago • Edited 10h ago Partassipant [2] Well, OP, you couldn't have handled it any better. I'd send her a text or email - something written - telling her that you are aghast at her insulting spewfest, and you're leaving the ball in her court. When she presents you and your wife with a heartfelt apology for rudely overstepping and a promise never to do it again, you will resume contact. Until then, you have nothing more to say.
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    kornflakes 1989 Partassipant [1] NTA. • 13h ago It's as simple as this, if the kid isn't theirs, they don't get to decide the name. If they have a naming tradition, it doesn't matter, still not their kid, so it's not their decision.
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    They have no right to insist the name be changed and they shouldn't get talking the name, you or your wife for picking that name and not a name they wanted you to pick. Tell them to either grow up and accept the name or they can look forward to not seeing their grandkids.
  • 20
    We had a little naming ceremony on Saturday and my mom decided she was going to dig in her heels about the name and she told me we'd picked a stupid name and she hated it, she wanted us to change it and name him Jack or Parker.

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